Having jealous thoughts lately? It’s okay! You will be lying to yourself if you believe you have NEVER felt jealous! We all get green-eyed every once in a while. Though jealousy is a complex emotion, it is pretty natural and expected. The key is to understand that we all feel negative emotions but how we deal with them sets us apart! You need to learn to cope with jealousy and not let it take over the peace in your life. This post will discuss how to use journaling and journal prompts for jealousy to help you overcome this negative emotion. Let’s look at it in detail!
Will Using Journal Prompts for Jealousy a Help Me Cope?
Feeling jealous is no surprise! Imagine this, You saw your friend spend time with others while you struggled for attention! Your spouse is spending too much time with new friends! What is the most probable emotion you’ll feel? Yes, jealousy!
Jealousy often leads to anger, resentment, anxiety, and sadness. A healthy way to deal with this emotion is through journaling! Here is how journaling helps:
Finding the Root Cause
The feelings of jealousy stem from one’s insecurities. There is usually a strong belief behind these feelings, which indicates a lack of confidence. When someone thinks they are not good enough or cannot get enough, they become jealous.
Journaling about your feelings helps you find the root cause. Writing leads to more underpinned thoughts and feelings which might not come into mind consciously.
Once the root cause is traced, it is easy to combat jealousy.
Working Through Emotions
Dealing with complex emotions such as jealousy can be tricky. It is tiring and frustrating to let the thoughts play in your head over and over. Frequent negative thoughts also lead to resentment and anger.
Journaling brings emotional catharsis. Letting all your emotions out on paper is therapeutic and gives clarity to thoughts. You will feel light if you work through the challenging emotions tangibly.
Challenging Negative Thoughts
It is hard to make a logical decision when you are filled with rage and jealousy. You are likely to take unreasonable steps in response to your feelings.
However, if you pause and jot down things in your journal, you will feel the intensity of emotions subsiding. You will then be better able to challenge your negative thoughts.
Building a Better Perspective
You are more likely to form tunnel vision when you are jealous. Your mind focuses on the negative things. And, as experts suggest, you will likely attract what you concentrate on!
Journaling does the task when your mind struggles to keep a balanced perspective! You stop playing scenarios in your head and lay them out in the open. From there, you can consciously focus on the positives.
It helps formulate a balanced and better perspective toward relationships and life.
What is the Root of Jealousy?
The emotions of jealousy are certainly anything but pleasant. But they are unavoidable! Being jealous is pretty hard-wired in our system through evolution. However, several factors are more likely to surface jealousy.
Before we talk about the root causes, let’s clear the difference between envy and jealousy! Though used synonymous, envy is simply wanting what others have (between two people). In contrast, jealousy involves a third party. Such as fear of losing someone or something valuable to another person.
So, what exactly causes jealousy? Evolutionary psychologists have explained that jealousy actually stems from one’s internal “insecurities” instead of external triggers. These insecurities can take various forms, from poor self-esteem to past traumatic relationships.
Some of the common factors are:
Low Self-Image
A person not confident about their self-image is more likely to feel jealous in a relationship. They might think that their partner is not attracted to them anymore. They also assume that their romantic partner will easily find someone more charming; thus, they try to control them.
Unrealistic Expectations in a Relationship
A romantic relationship with someone is not a smooth ride. It is bound to experience some turbulence. However, setting unrealistic expectations leads to resentment between the partners.
For instance, partners don’t have to spend 100% of their time together. But, a jealous partner would try to control every move of the spouse.
As Khalil Jibran puts it, “You need spaces in your togetherness to sustain your bond.”
Mismatched Attachment Style
A mismatched style of attachment between partners can also become a cause of jealousy.
For example, a husband who wants constant attention might get jealous of a wife who likes her personal space and private activities. Or, an introverted wife is likely to get jealous of the friends of an extroverted husband.
Past Emotional Trauma
If they remain unresolved, the emotional traumas from the past can keep haunting the individual. These traumas can lead to jealousy in current relationships.
For instance, a partner who got cheated on in the past might easily get jealous in his new relationship. The subtle signs that remind you of the trauma can trigger jealousy.
What are the Four Stages of Jealousy?
According to research, there are four stages of jealousy. You need to find out what stage you are at to help you cope. Let’s look at each stage:
Stage 1: Identification
At stage 1, the individual realizes the feelings of jealousy. They are threatened by the involvement of a third party in a relationship.
The threat could either be real or perceived. However, the person fears losing his relationship at this stage.
Stage 2: Confrontative
Stage 2 marks the appearance of negative thoughts. The person has several irrational thoughts leading to feelings of anger and resentment.
Stage 3: Redirecting
This stage indicates the redirection of feelings of jealousy towards the other party. One can start interrogating or nagging the other person.
For instance, a jealous wife might taunt her husband for staying late in the office.
Stage 4: Medea
This is the most harmful stage, where a person starts controlling the behavior of others. This behavior results in a toxic relationship that eventually falls apart.
For example, a jealous husband might stop his wife from going out with friends or ask about her whereabouts all the time.
How Do You Release Feelings of Jealousy?
Dwelling on jealousy for too long can ruin your peace and relationships. Therefore, you must try to release these feelings of jealousy as soon as possible! Using journal prompts for jealousy is one of the best ways to tackle this complicated emotion.
So, take out your pens and journals, and let’s start. If you feel stuck, just refer to the journal prompts for jealousy below!
P.S: This post will not go into the basics of journaling. If you are new, watch this Youtube video on how to start and maintain a journal!
1. Be Honest and Come Clean
The first step in dealing with any emotion is to “ACCEPT” it! No matter how bad you feel, it is always better to acknowledge it than sweep it under the rug.
A journal is a great way to do that. It won’t judge you, it won’t taunt you, and it won’t hate you!
So, be as honest and open as you can be! Come clean about your emotions and feelings.
2. Record Every Aspect
When you are journaling, it is important to go beneath the surface. Try to describe the situation in detail and record every aspect.
For instance, explain it clearly if you feel jealous of your husband’s new secretary.
- Why are you feeling this way?
- Is there something your husband did?
- What precisely about the secretary makes you jealous?
- Is it her looks or personality or anything else that makes you jealous of her?
3. Reflect on Your Self
Once you have clarity about what aspects of the situation make you jealous, reflect on it. Try to get to the root cause. Understand WHY you are feeling this way! Is there any insecurity that is making you feel jealous?
Does this situation say anything about your hopes, goals, and self-worth? One way to do that is to keep writing thoughts and ask questions to reach the next one (much like peeling the onion layers)
For example, consider this hypothetical thought process:
- My husband has a new secretary, and I am jealous of her! Why?
- Because she is pretty! So what?
- My husband would feel attracted toward her and not me! Why is that so?
- Because I am not pretty enough! (this is the insecurity you have to deal with)
4. Get Ready to Move On
Exploring the root cause does half the job! If you find out the real reason behind jealousy, you are ready to move on!
Journal about making actionable steps to overcome feelings of jealousy. What can you do to resolve your insecurities and, ultimately, your jealousy?
Examples:
- If you are conscious about gaining weight, you can plan to start exercising. Keeping a journal will help you achieve your goals too!
- If you are insecure about your height, you must accept this! Journaling can also help in achieving acceptance and confidence.
- Try to communicate honestly with your partner.
- Start your mindfulness journey to help regulate your emotions.
15 Great Journal Prompts for Jealousy
Using journal prompts for jealousy makes it easy for you to explore the emotion in-depth! We have selected 15 great journal prompts for jealousy to get you started:
- What triggers your jealousy? Is it a specific event or interaction?
- How does jealousy make you feel physically and emotionally? What sensations do you experience in your body?
- What are the underlying emotions behind your jealousy? Is it fear, insecurity, or something else?
- How does your jealousy impact your relationships with others? Does it make you behave in ways you’re not proud of?
- What would your ideal response be to situations that trigger your jealousy? How can you work towards achieving that response?
- How do you compare yourself to others, and why do you feel the need to do so? What can you do to shift your focus away from comparisons?
- Are there certain people or situations that trigger your jealousy more than others? Why might that be?
- What are some affirmations or positive self-talk that you can use to counteract feelings of jealousy?
- How does your jealousy impact your own goals and aspirations? Does it distract you from pursuing what you truly want?
- What are some things that you’re grateful for in your own life? How can you focus more on these positives instead of comparing yourself to others?
- How does social media impact your feelings of jealousy? Is there anything you can do to reduce your exposure to triggers on social media?
- What are some healthy ways to cope with jealousy when it arises? Can you practice these techniques regularly to help manage your emotions?
- Have you spoken to someone you trust about your feelings of jealousy? Is there anyone you can turn to for support or guidance?
- What are some ways that you can practice self-care to help manage your jealousy? How can you prioritize your own well-being?
- What would you say to a friend who was struggling with jealousy? Can you offer yourself that same kindness and compassion?
Book Suggestions to Cope With Jealousy
Reading about emotions and learning how to cope with them is essential to regulate our feelings. Various self-help books are available to aid you in navigating your emotions.
We have gathered some book recommendations for coping with jealousy and the negative emotions that come with it! These books are a great read and are available on Amazon!
1- Jealousy: A Psychologist’s Guide by Catherine Chambers
2- Jealousy by Sofia Price
3- The Jealousy Cure by Robert L. Leahy
4- Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy by Zachary Stockill
5- Anxiety in Relationships by Theresa Williams
Online Groups to Help With Jealousy and Insecurity
Becoming a part of a community develops an individual’s support system. Joining a group of people going through the same will help you recognize that you are not alone!
Sharing your story and listening to others can be a source of venting out. It makes you relaxed and hopeful. Also, you get to learn new ways to deal with your emotions.
One such online community is the Jealousy Support Group which provides people with a platform to work through jealousy. You can read others’ stories and questions or even post your own stuff.
Final Thoughts
Jealousy is a natural emotion like happiness, sadness, and anger. However, it is your choice to overcome it or let it control your life!
Jealousy can make relationships toxic, controlling, and unhealthy. Therefore, it is essential to nip it in the bud!
You can use journaling and journaling prompts for jealousy to work through your negative emotions. Try to find the root cause and then move past it. Self-help books and online support groups can also bail you out of feeling jealous.
Start your healing process today, and don’t let jealousy eat you up inside!
