Anticipation and anxiety go hand in hand when you first see the double blue line. Whether you are trying for a baby, you are already expecting, or your child’s just been born, congratulations on this part of your journey! Journaling can be a tender tool for these early years. The page is a precious place for cherishing memories, expressing and processing intense emotions and experiences, and recording all the lessons you learn along the way. Below you will find some ideas on how to start or improve your pregnancy journal.
Baby Book
The entire experience of childbirth is special, even when it’s challenging. Your pregnancy journal becomes a space for sharing those delicate moments, those funny if not frustrating ones too. All along, you take the time to remember the little details because often you’re not writing only for yourself. You can use your journal to create lasting memories for your child. The flowery baby books of the eighties have somewhat gone out of fashion, but you can leave something that will stand the test of time and give your child a piece of their heritage. This will also strengthen your connection to your son or daughter through the years.
When your child is grown, they will have this little memento, written with love and endearment. They can learn about what life was like for you as a parent. They can gain a deeper understanding of all that goes into raising a child, and they can grow closer to you because they will see your inner workings, your thoughts and dreams, and everything else you choose to include. It really is a precious way to tell your pregnancy story and the story of the first few years.
Ideas for What to Keep in Your Pregnancy or Early Parenthood Journal:
- Try to write a little bit each day, dating each entry so that you can remember when things happened, and the memories are still fresh in your mind.
- Think about your future child if you do intend to share this with them, and consider the way you want to speak about the more challenging topics without shying away from them.
- No memory is too small, no thought is insubstantial. Remember that the ideas behind your pregnancy journal are about more than what is happening, they are about forming a treasured bond with your child.
Emotional Support
Journaling about pregnancy and childbirth is also an incredible opportunity to share openly about your struggles and the difficulties. You don’t have to only talk about the brilliant moments. You can release the turmoil that is bound to show up at some points and you can have a space to let everything out. That’s not to say that you need to share all the hardest parts with your child, but it certainly can normalize a lot of the intense emotions tied to parenthood. If you are open to journaling about the process, then you’ll find a great comfort in knowing that no matter what goes on for you, you are not alone. Your experience is a vital part of your family story and the stories of countless families who have had similar experiences.
Of course, your pregnancy journal can be a private thing and you don’t have to share all the ideas in it. For anyone feeling overwhelmed, weary, exhausted, sad, hopeless or nihilistic, it can be a place of quiet contemplation of thoughts and feeling you don’t care to discuss with others. Allow yourself the space to write these emotions down. Give yourself the space to heal and to rest with whatever is coming up for you.
It is completely normal to face highly afflictive emotions and even postpartum depression. What is crucial is that you seek help from your family and friends. Do not go it alone. Let your diary be your doula, your trusted friend, but seek support because you are loved and your mental health is important to more people than you could possibly know.
Ideas for Discussing Hardship and Struggle in Your Pregnancy Journal
- How is life different than it was before pregnancy? How is it the same? Which changes have been a source of pleasure? Distress? Anxiety? Joy? What does this teach you about the dynamic nature of life?
- Explain some of the challenges you now face? What are some questions that come up? Offer solutions, possibilities, or answers.
- Who do you count on for emotional support and who can support you with the everyday needs? Who can you turn to during difficult times? How can you strengthen your connections to others, or how can you take steps to build new connections?
Learning Tool
You’re going to be learning a lot and your journal can hold all that wisdom. As you are introduced to new information about nutrition and development, keep track of it with your journal. Ask big questions, and write them down for future reference. Research and find trusted sources of knowledge, including your doctor and pediatrician. Pick the brains of other parents, and of members of your family. Leave no stone unturned in your quest for information, but remember to take your time with each new piece of information. Really sit with the advice that is offered to you and never feel like you have to follow every guru mama out there.
When you incorporate a new way of doing things, reflect on the effect it has. Does it pan out the way it’s supposed to? Is it making your life easier? Does it fit with your lifestyle, your abilities, and your ethics? By engaging with parenting techniques in this way, you’re not taking anyone’s word for it. You are testing things out in your experience. That is going to be the golden rule for parenting, test and reflect. Give things an honest try, but if it doesn’t work, don’t lose sleep trying to make it work.
Tip* As soon as you acquire a new and useful bit of information, write it in your notebook. Add any personal connections or aha moments that you have and try to write about how to incorporate it into your parenting toolkit.
Journal Prompts for Learning About Pregnancy or Parenthood:
- What resources do you have in terms of doctors/healthcare workers, books, and websites? Discuss some core lessons you’ve learned about parenthood so far?
- What are you curious about? Is there something that inspires you as a parent?
- What troubles you about parenthood? How do you make peace with uncertainties?
- Are you choosing a diverse wealth of information? Or does most of your knowledge come from a single source? What are the benefits of both methods?
- Discuss what is unique about your family. What makes it feel like home? What sorts of values, customs, and beliefs have you learned from your family?
The Language of Play
You’re going to discover pretty quickly that your baby has a unique outlook on the world. They are much less concerned with what you say, and more concerned with how you say it. Learning to play with young ones isn’t always instinctive, especially if we didn’t experience growing up with younger family members or neighbours. The fact is that play can teach us many things about the world and about ourselves as parents. It builds in us, as well as with our children, creativity and imagination, communication and social skills. It teaches us coordination, teamwork and integrity. Perhaps the most valuable thing to come from play is also the simplest. Play makes us happy.
A happy family can communicate lightheartedly, they can build stronger bonds because of this lightness. Babies don’t know exactly what you’re telling them, but you are communicating through your expression and your body, through your sounds and your touch. Your baby is going to learn faster and grow stronger through the intimate moments of play because their brains are totally lit up, their little bodies are wiggling and their mouths and vocal chords are working away to mimic you.
Food for Thought:
In many ways we are more patient and tolerant while playing with children than at any other time. We smile through their lies, cheating, crying, and tantrums. Children want to have as much fun as possible at all times and we can learn a lot by observing their commitment to play. There is a special kind of compassion we feel towards children because of their sheer desire for fun. What if we carried this compassion forward in all areas of life?
Journal Prompts for Playing with Children:
- What is your relationship to play? How has this evolved over time?
- Are there things that you tolerate in a game that you wouldn’t in real life? What do you have the patience for in a game that you normally don’t have patience for?
- What would the effect be if we always saw those things through the lens of a game, or rather, if we just didn’t take things so seriously?
- How else do you treat children differently than adults? Why? What if we extend our beneficial understanding of children…to teens, young adults and everyone?