“To err is human, to forgive, divine.”
Alexander Pope
You often hear people say, “forgive and forget!.” But is it that simple? If you struggle with forgiveness, you might have even told this to yourself multiple times. Guess what? No luck, right? Unresolved conflicts go deeper than we think and affect our physical and mental health. So, how to get out of this spiral of anger and resentment? We suggest you give journaling a shot! Journaling is a great way to practice forgiveness for yourself or others. In this post, we will discuss everything related to forgiveness journaling. We will also list some great journal prompts for forgiveness that you can use to begin your healing process. So, stay with us till the end!
The Importance of Forgiveness
We use the word “forgiveness” repeatedly but often misunderstand its real meaning. Forgiveness is not being “OK” with the situation; instead, it deals with your feelings and emotions. Before we convince you how important forgiveness is, let’s try to understand it.
What Does It Mean To Show Forgiveness?
Forgiveness is an active decision to let go of negative emotions about oneself or others. We are talking about the internal process, so it doesn’t matter if the other person deserves your forgiveness or not! Let’s look at it through an analogy.
Holding onto a grudge is like putting a massive rock in your backpack. Now you are carrying this heavy rock wherever you go. It is not serving you any purpose apart from creating difficulty for “YOU.” Also, the space for your essential items is getting smaller. You will keep moving with the burden unless you let go of the rock.
Similarly, the negative feelings of anger, guilt, grief, and resentment block the space for positive emotions. Once you release these, you will feel light and free.
Do You Have To Forget To Forgive?
In a single word, “No”! Forgiveness does not mean that you forget about what happened. It means to “accept it” without any hard feelings.
Oprah said it best, “Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different”. So, next time you think of forgiveness, do not equate it with:
- Condoning the exact behavior.
- Forgetting the situation.
- Reconciliation with the other person.
- Removing boundaries.
- Allowing the behavior to happen again.
Instead, consider forgiveness your own “freedom”! Freedom to move forward without a heavy heart!
Benefits of Forgiveness
Forgiveness improves not only your mental well-being but also your physical health. According to research, the benefits of forgiveness are enough to fill a whole book. Some of these benefits are:
- It reduces stress.
- You can get rid of toxic anger.
- Your immune system strengthens when you forgive.
- The practice of “letting go” helps to boost your self-esteem.
- The act of forgiveness brings calm and peace.
- Forgiving oneself develops confidence and self-awareness.
- The compassionate response to an adverse event prevents depression, anxiety, sleep problems, and other mood disorders.
- Forgiveness lowers the risk of physical health conditions such as high blood pressure, increased cholesterol levels, and heart attacks.
Be sure to watch this fantastic video on the power of forgiveness and self-love!
5 Journal Prompts to Help You Forgive Others
If you haven’t been able to forgive someone lately, try to do it through journaling.
Journaling is, in fact, relatively easy. You don’t need anything fancy to start. Just grab a good forgiveness journal and some simple pens or markers, and start writing. (If you haven’t tried journaling before, here is a detailed video on journaling for beginners!)
While Journaling to forgive someone, try to:
- Use an empathetic approach (It is different from sympathy, read it here!).
- Understand the other person’s perspective and accept the situation.
- Recognize that they are trying their best.
To get inspiration, we have made prompts for the forgiveness process. You can use the following journal prompts for forgiveness. Choose any prompt that resonates with you and start there. There are no hard and fast rules!
Write About the Experience
As discussed above, forgiveness means acceptance, not approval! Hence, you need to write about the whole experience to accept it. Here are some prompts that will help:
- Who was the person that hurt you?
- What happened that is so hard to forgive?
- Was it the first time this happened, or did it happen repeatedly?
- What did you feel at that time?
- Was it an accident or on purpose?
Practice Empathy
Forgiveness involves empathy toward others and imagining yourself in someone else’s shoes. Understand that they are human beings, too, and can make mistakes.
Note: You do not have to approve of the person’s behavior. Just acknowledge their perspective as well.
Use some of these prompts to help you with that:
- How can I write about the experience from the other person’s point of view?
- What is the most generous assumption I can make about the other person?
- What motivation did the other person have for their actions?
- What are the positive things about this person?
Let Go of Negative Beliefs
Beliefs anchor our thoughts, emotions, and actions. You can use the following prompts to reach forgiveness in your beliefs:
- What is the core belief hindering my forgiveness process?
- Why should I change this belief?
- How is this belief hurting me?
- Why is it hard to let go?
- What can I do to change my belief? What should be the alternative?
Practice Self-Awareness
Forgiveness happens when you realize its benefits. Make yourself think about how your mood will change after you decide to forgive. Try to answer the following prompts:
- How will I feel after I forgive this person?
- How is this pain affecting me, and will it change after forgiving the person?
- What good will forgiveness bring me?
Grow and Learn
Finally, forgiveness is the process of growth and learning in life. Being able to forgive someone is not only healing but also shows self-growth. You can also write about your growth process through forgiveness. It will motivate you to do the same in the future:
- What did I learn from this experience?
- Do I still want this person in my life? Why or why not?
- How has this process helped me in my growth as an individual?
5 Great Journal Prompts for Self-Forgiveness
We are our own worst critics! We often set the bar too high for ourselves and then feel guilty if we don’t reach there. Setting goals is fine, but we must be compassionate toward ourselves. It’s okay if you:
- Shifted your priorities.
- Replaced your beliefs.
- Redirected your goals.
- Made mistakes in the past.
- Changed your mind about anything.
All these things are part of growth; you must forgive and move on with life. Regroup, understand your needs and make healthier decisions! Need help with that?
We have selected these five great journal prompts for forgiveness that works best for self-forgiveness:
- What do you need to forgive yourself for?
- Describe how you are not defined by your mistakes (hint: we all make them, no one is perfect!)
- How would you feel if you forgave yourself?
- How can you start being in the “present” instead of worrying about the past?
- What have you learned from this experience? How will you use it in future situations?
If you have low self-esteem and want to improve your confidence, we recommend reading this article on the best Journal Prompts for Confidence.
Book Suggestions for Working Through Forgiveness
Though discussed frequently, forgiveness is not an easy task. It requires patience, effort, and commitment. We understand that some traumas are deeply rooted and cannot be forgiven quickly. However, the key here is to take your time and keep trying.
Here are some books that will help you go through the forgiveness journey
Radical Forgiveness by Colin Tipping
This book’s author has discussed forgiveness in a rather unconventional way. The book takes the approach that every experience has meaning and can teach us to become better.
It also offers a step-by-step guide to start the healing process and take on a new world perspective. Best part? It contains forgiveness worksheets too!
Forgiveness: 21 Days to Forgive Everyone for Everything by Iyanla Vanzant
This book is impressive, with a 21-day plan to work through forgiveness. The book focuses on accepting the past and moving on by making a conscious decision.
It also contains tools to help you practice forgiveness. You can choose the ones that work best for you. Also, the book elaborates on “journaling work” and EFT (emotional freedom techniques) for forgiveness.
Don’t Feel Stuck! Journaling Methods to Transform Your Mindset & Live in Universal Abundance by Jaclyn Johnston
As the name indicates, the book focuses on resolving mental blocks. It discusses combating stress, anxiety, self-doubt, fears, negative beliefs, and excessive worry.
The book is designed like a journal workbook containing tools and worksheets. So, it will undoubtedly help you in your journaling journey as well.
Judgment Detox: Release the Beliefs That Hold You Back from Living A Better Life by Gabby Bernstein
Written by a New York Times best-selling author, this book is excellent for understanding self-forgiveness. In the book, Gabby comprehensively explains how self-judgment holds us back in our life. To free ourselves, we must leave our judgemental persona.
The author establishes that we will be better able to forgive others when we learn how to forgive ourselves. The book is a step-by-step proactive guide to changing your judgmental beliefs. So, it is worth a read!
Online Groups That Help With Forgiveness
Often we find ourselves in a spot where we lose control of our emotions. We lash out, slip into arguments, hold anger, and even become bitter. If you have been through such a phase, it is not hard to imagine that others go through the same.
But it is never too late to make amends. Though things might not always go back to how they were, forgiveness will liberate you of any ill feelings.
We found some online groups that help with forgiveness. Apart from using journal prompts for forgiveness, you can take help from the online community.
Bukala Forgiveness Initiative
This initiative by John Carroll University includes a “Forgiveness Chapel.” This virtual chapel is where people gather to share their stories of forgiveness and hurt.
The group invites individuals to reflect on their actions and make a conscious decision of forgiveness. They welcome anyone who wants to forgive or needs to be forgiven.
The Forgiveness Project
The Forgiveness Project was founded in 2004 by Marina Cantacuzino. This online project helps to connect people by providing experiences and resources to overcome their unresolved conflicts. They focus on supporting people dealing with life issues and building an overall climate of hope, trust, and empathy.
The online group invites stories of forgiveness on their website. It helps to inspire others by showcasing the personal journeys of various people through forgiveness. You can read stories and send your own here!
Final Thoughts
Forgiveness seems easy, but as we begin to peer beneath the surfaced emotions, negative beliefs and judgment take over. But forgiveness is the true “freedom”- which makes it worth our attention!
Journaling is a great method to resolve the complicated emotions associated with forgiveness. Also, it is a cathartic process. However, embarking on a new journey always requires effort. So, you can use journal prompts for forgiveness to get started!
You can also take help from various books on forgiveness and online groups to become a more forgiving being! We hope this guide helps you connect with yourself and forgive others.
