Let’s say the whole journaling thing hasn’t quite rubbed off on you yet. Or maybe you’ve just started: you’re curious, but you’re not ready to commit to a daily routine. There’s nothing wrong with picking up your journal every now and again. You don’t need to have a regimen. Many people wonder what to use a journal for. The truth is, everyone is a little different. However, there are certain life events that you might want to consider including in your journal. These are the momentous occasions that beg to be remembered. When you take the time to explore them, you can really get a feel for how they change your life experience.
Birth
If you, or your partner are having a child, now is the perfect time to consider some of the things going on in your life and to write about the changes this baby is going to bring. A birth means a lot for a person and it doesn’t all have to be positive either. Getting real with your emotions, your worries, and your expectations is heart-opening. Even taking the time to write one page about all that you hope for or all that you fear, can free up that mind space totally. You want to be fully present for your child’s life, and that starts with building an authentic relationship.
The birth of a child in your family or your friend circle isn’t always going to affect you, but it is an opportunity to take stock of your relationship with the parents and to ignite a new love if you are close or you want to be closer to support them through this new stage of life.
Journal prompts for birth:
- What are some aspects of your personality, and your history that you feel you’ll have to hold back from your child? When will be an appropriate age to share these things with them?
- What are some experiences you’d like to have with this child throughout their life?
- What will it mean for you to maintain an authentic relationship with them, both for yourself and for the child?
- If a friend or family member is having a child, what are some ways your relationship is going to change? How can you stay connected? Show support?
Death
What can we say about death? The circumstances are always unique and we never know how we will be affected until after the fact. It’s important to write about the experience, to share how it’s impacted us and how we are coping with the change. It’s even more important to share some of our fondest memories about the person and to focus on all that we loved about them, rather than only centering on the loss.
Grief can strike at any moment and it will hit us again and again, sometimes years after the fact. In that grief is a potency to remember why that person was so special. When you journal about the death of a loved one, you are offering yourself a source of peace as well as a place to hold your grief. You can find refuge in the memories and the good times, even when there are tears in your eyes.
Journal prompts for death
- What is your relationship with death? How do you want to explore and expand that?
- What are the small things that made this person so special to you.
- Write about some of the big moments in your relationship.
- Write a letter of gratitude for the time you shared together and also let them know how you are doing in life.
New Relationships
The power of a new partnership can’t be underestimated. This doesn’t even have to mean romantic relationships either. Any new friend can be significant, especially when you feel the deep connection. By writing about the beginning, we give ourselves a sweet memento of the very first time we felt that spark.
It’s important not to pepper our journal with expectations for this relationship. Instead you are just noticing little things you like about them, you are writing about the memory of your meeting, maybe some of the parts about them that they’ve shared with you, some of the things you shared about yourself. Think of this moment as a capsule. It is a moment held in time by your journal for you to remember fondly and return to again and again.
Journal prompts for new relationships:
- What are some of the things you notice about their personality? Their interests? Their quirks?
- What do you have in common and what makes you different? Is there anything about you that is fundamentally the same?
- What made your meeting special? What made it ordinary? How did you connect?
For more reading about how to journal for better relationships, check out this article.
Separation
Sometimes when we leave a relationship, it feels like we did something wrong. Sometimes it feels like it was the other person’s fault. It’s important to be objective at the end of a partnership and recognize that it no longer matters either way. We often want to wallow in the blame game, or the heavy emotions, and that is perfectly fair, but what really matters is how we conduct ourselves and how we respond to the transition.
Tips for journaling about separation:
- Allow your emotions to have space on the page,
- Take space for yourself to process what’s happening.
- Plan your next steps and acknowledge what still needs to be done on your part.
Travel
Nobody ever steals a notebook, so this is a great addition to your bag. Writing about your new experiences and the people that you meet will help you to remember them in a different way than just taking photos and collecting instagram names. Instead of the quick memory evoked by a photo, your journal entry allows you to stretch out the moment and recall everything you want to, in detail.
Journal prompts for traveling:
- What has most surprised you about your experience? About the culture? The people?
- Who have you shared this memory with and what has been so special about your time together?
- What about this place gives it the feel of home? What makes it feel exotic?
Moving
Before you’ve started packing, your journal can be an organizer. Think about all the knick knacks that you’ve been harbouring in your house, all the extra clothes and books and toys. You can express what exactly you want for your new space by writing about it. Make a commitment to donate and recycle those things that you don’t want to take with you.
If you haven’t found the perfect place yet, you can journal about what you want in a house. Be specific and detailed because this will solidify your vision in your mind.
After you’re moved in, your journal is a great place to write about the changes you’ve experienced in this new place. It’s a place to come to terms with missing the old place, the old feel of things. It’s also a place to fall in love with your new space.
Journal prompts for moving:
- What is your main reason for moving, and what changes are going to come up from this transition?
- Are there any perks and quirks of your new place?
- What do you miss from your old house? What don’t you miss?
Education
Deciding on a degree is no easy task. Yet, we are preconditioned to believe that by the time we’re eighteen, we should know what we want to do. A lot of people go into postsecondary without a clear idea of their future plans. Journal about your decision. Compare a few different options and write about your research. Weigh one career against another, ask people you know in those industries, talk to a career counselor, and all the while, write it out.
Journal prompts for education:
- What are your skills? What comes naturally to you?
- Talk about some of your weaknesses. What don’t you enjoy doing?
- What excites you? Gets you curious? Gets you energized to learn more and do more?
- What do you want to avoid like the plague?
- When you look at your options all together, which courses overlap, or where do you find a similar line of learning that you’d like to follow?
Once you’re in school, it’s a good idea to keep up your journaling practice every now and then, just to check in with yourself. How are your studies? Your health? How are your relationships? Don’t let yourself be lost during your school days, this is a time of great growth and transformation if you are open to witnessing it within yourself.
Graduation
Once you’ve made it through the grueling finals, and you have tasted freedom, this is a great opportunity for reflection. Think back to your experience in school and all that you’ve learned, all that you’ve pushed through. Plus, you still want to think about what comes next because graduation is only the first step.
Tips for writing about graduation:
- Reflect honestly about your degree, what were the hardest parts? Where will you need to continue your studies? What are you most proud of?
- Brainstorm career avenues that reflect your personal goals and strengths. Remember that you don’t have to be doing “what you love” to love what you do. You can find value in many kinds of work.
- Make a simple, step by step plan towards your next goal and keep track of your progress (Remember, taking a year off to go exploring is a viable goal too!).
Career Changes
Whether you chose to leave your job, or you were asked to, you will probably experience a storm of emotions and uncertainties. This is a time when your journal is your life raft. Even if it’s hidden in the cupboard somewhere, you can dust it off and write about what’s been going on for you at work and what your next plans are. If you already have a new job in mind, you can discuss it in your journal too.
Tips for writing about career changes:
- Find out what your old company still owes you, and what they require from you.
- Research a few new opportunities and weigh the pros and cons of their environment/conditions as well as their expectations and job description.
- Find out the skills you’ll need to learn and the ones you already have for the job you choose and update your resume.
I take a very proactive approach to this kind of journaling because you don’t want your new career to be overshadowed by the inner turmoil you might be feeling. Always leave time to journal about the emotions that come up for you, and the fears, but don’t base your next decision on them. Be objective because you want to find something that evokes more than feeling from you.
Illness and Death
We spoke about the death of a loved one, but it’s also important to journal about our own. It’s not morbid to have a plan in place in case we die. In fact, you are never too young to have a will. If you have been diagnosed with a serious condition, your journal also helps you to cope through the difficult process. It’s time we normalize sickness and death because we sure are not going to escape them.
Prompts for journaling about illness
American surgeon, Dr. Atul Gawande wrote an extraordinary book about end of life experiences, called Being Mortal. I want to share with you the five questions he asks his terminally ill patients because they are important for all of us at some point.
- What is your understanding of where you are and of your illness?
- Explain some of your fears or worries for the future.
- What are your goals and priorities?
- Discuss any outcomes are unacceptable to you. What are you willing to sacrifice and not?
- What would a good day look like?
Prompts for journaling about your own death:
- What are some of the fears you have about the end of life? Which of these fears are in your control? Which are outside of it?
- What do you imagine death to be like? What is your experience with death already?
- Who can you discuss your final wishes with? Who can you speak to about the fears or worries you still have?